pride.. chicken?

i admit. i am quite proud.. but with good intentions.

weeeh??

pls.. let me explain.

for some reason, i can't ask for what i really want. i can't seem to insist people to do me favors. believe it or not, such situations really gets me so damn shy. :P i feel awkward when people offer me something. i feel that whatever they have to offer is better off if they keep it to themselves. i feel that i am in no match with the efforts and sacrifices that they will take on whilst the favor proper . and with that.. it results to my untainted veto.

there are also times when i refuse but deep inside me.. i'm in dire need of his/her help or i'm dying to put my hands on that thingamabob the person is giving me. shit. but alas, i still say no.. and this time.. i am not sure why. i can't admit to the other person that i want it so bad. i get shyyyyyy.... i feel weird. 0_0

that, my foes, is where the pride part comes in... i think. hhmm.. it displays pride in a sense that i'm not accepting the other person's present. dunchuthink? well.. I DONT KNOW. i really get shy.. super duper shy... during these situations.. shitty. kalabuan nga naman ng buhay..

i can't understand.. but i really get bashful when a person displays his/her goodwill and generosity to moi.. i feel that i'm not as precious and as worthy as their kindhearts...

!@#$%

i am sick. fucker...

i have loads of work to do.. yet procrastination is still my gameplan. >:P