fucked up first week

first week of classes was fine.. just fine. i've been called in class twice and i never, NEVER, failed to make a fool out of myself. tanginang motherfucking shit yan..

school makes me feel fucked up..and that's not good. agree with me or else..

i hate it when i feel like a clueless sloth..

shet. ang labo nun ha..

anyway, here's good news!

andito na si... *drum roll*

DZZUUUUNYYOOOORRRR!!!!!!

nostalgic and allergic

waah.. i just read my other blog.. and, for some reason, i can't seem to explain the mushy-ness and the cheesy-ness of my past entries. shit.

THAT WAS ME?!?! motherfucking holy cow!

i'm shocked with how i've been expressing myself. haha. i'm scandalized.. really. i can't believe i was/am THAT open to cyberworld. shit.

hahaha. sorry na.. i can't help it! hihihihihihi.

finally.. i found the perfect t-shirt

cure me.

my first favorite emo song

you are my sunshine
my only sunshine
you make me happy
when skies are grey.
you'll never know, dear,
how much i love you
please don't take my sunshine a w a y....

the other night, dear,
as i lay sleeping
i dreamed i held you in my arms
when i awoke, dear,
i was mistaken
and i hung my head and cried.

-barney

but i am too weak to be your cure

... guernica -brand new

random thought

an attempt to be a photographer
shit. i'm desperte to learn how to take 'good' pictures.

practice makes perfect.
but nobody is perfect.
therefore, i shouldn't practice.

haha. kaya walang patutunguhan ang buhay ko e. hahaha! tignan mo naman kung pano ako magisip?!

by the way, these two pictures were taken during the first rain of may :) yahoo :)
**
i don't like cheezy.. but i love majety :)

helpless

you might think that these are new born puppies.

but NOOOO!

these are mice. our helper found them when she was rummaging outside our house. the litter literally fell on her when she, by chance, disturbed it. she brushed the brood into a dust pan and poured filthy water on it. when she showed me this, i suddenly had this urge of grabbing a bottle of muriatic acid, liquid sosa, alcohol, kerosene, or even just my baby cologne. i don't want to kill them. i just want to see the effect of chemicals on their pink and hairless bodies. i was also thrilled on the thought that i will witness them squirm and suffer. and besides, if they die, i wouldn't be bothered that much because sooner or later they'll turn into fat icky harmful rats. killing them would even let my mother have another reason to be proud of me. hehe. but then, God whispered and said that even if they would grow up chewing on our things, they still deserve to live... normally. i also, in some way, believe in karma. hehe. i don't want to be oppressed when i'm totally helpless.

NEXT.

this is a dead bird. i found this under the table in our terrace.

its beautiful. <3>

i just realized.. in some way, i'm fond of little helpess and harmless creatures. :) bwahahahaha!

i erased my whole blog. pucha!

** false alarm. shit. nanerbyos naman ako nun! hahahaha!

and the first place goes to.. not you

I’m suppose to study for my stat101 exam now.. but alas! I’m typing an entry, yet again, like a motherfucker… Shitty. The praning side of my mind appears to be in frenzy lately.

Anyhooo…

Somehow, I’ve pondered on the word ‘almost’.. meaning ‘nearly’, ‘not quite’, ‘just about’ etc. and it just sank in to me, harshly and deeply, that this simple yet heart piercing word seems to be one of the gravest that I’ve gone through. And recently, is hiking up my list of top most dreaded nightmares. Yey.

‘Almost’, as far as I know, have tortured a lot of people… And unfortunately, I am one of its frequent victims. For me, it really fucking sucks! Being almost there.. is not there at all.. (ehh?) its like being second best.. if ever there is such a term… shit.. second best?! What the fuck.. I hate that feeling.. that feeling of being already there.. but not quite there. Wherever there is. 0_0 waah. this is just so confusing.

But honestly, the bittersweet twinge it does to your heart is quite gratifying. It makes you feel pain.. even anguish.. even hate.. and it never fails to make you realize that you are imperfect… that you have flaws.. It never fails to make us remember that we are just human. and we can't do anything about it. Our strengths define each of us.. but as well as our flaws.. our mistakes.. our shortcomings.

Having been able to feel these deranged emotions seems to be a way for Jesus to talk to me. And I like it when he talks to me.. really.

Yes, my friend, you’ll be dismayed if you landed on the word ‘almost’. It scares the hell out of me, and probably, you’d feel the same way too. I’d rather be on the top most or down down down below.. but never float in between. But I guess it’s how life works. And I have to get used to it. (or if ever I don’t, I’ll just push thru with my plans involving a glass of vodka and a gun)

Sometimes, you just can’t get what you want. You’ll get close to the dream.. but not get the dream itself.

Raaarrr… shut up you spoiled bitch!

yes.. I think I’m back to my old self :)

time out

My “ever reliable” and favorite wristwatch just got broken.. again. 0_0 GRRREEAAATTT..

For some reason, I felt that God talked to me via this phenomena.. HAHAHAHA!
So here’s the epiphany..

All this time I’ve been living life as if each tick of the clock is gold. Sometimes, I treat my wristwatch as if it were a time bomb… if I’m not done with my current task before or on the deadline that I’ve set.. everything will explode.. everything will fall apart.. everything will be ruined (naah.. I’m just exaggerating things.. but, yeah.. that’s pretty much what happens :P) And this, my foes, pressures me.. A LOT. I admit, I’m controlled by time much more than I could control it. Fucker. And it really stresses me out.. it burns me out.. it wears me off.. blah blah blah.. Sometimes, I feel that time is not enough for all the things that I wanted to do. Well, maybe its possible, but my body can’t accommodate all at the same time. Raarr… AND THAT… is just very depressing.

SO?!?! Anong koneksyon?!

I feel that God wants me to have a “break” from my time pressured life. He/She wants me to take things slowly or better yet be oblivious to time. Probably, He/She wants me to trust Him/Her more than time itself. He/She wants me to really believe that he’s given me much time just enough for fate to take its course. (I’m preaching already! Yikes! Papasok na ba ako sa pinakamalapit na kumbento?! Hahaha!)

Aah.. thanks to the guy up there... because he wants me to relax..
to chill..
to take it easy…
to rest..
in peace?!?!
X_x

alam mo na kung sino ka..

kapag ako pumayat.. (malayong mangyari!)

kapag ako naging HOT.. (mas lalong malayong mangyari!!! :))

kapag ako naging bihasa sa kahit anong instrumento..

pucha! patay ka sakin!

RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!

sabi mo:

this is the start..

brace yourself worthless praning princess..

vengeance is at hand

sabi ko:

woah! astig >:)

so little time.. so much to do..

this summer, by far, is the worse summer that i've experienced... a lot of missed outings... insufficient sun exposure... and that feeling of despare because of not being able to hibernate within the comforts of my lovely bed. shit.

as expected, my summer classes aren't working for me. haha. i am severely infected with what i call "tamad-itis". such severe attacks happen in the morning... 8 -12.30 to be exact... and unfortunately, subsides until God-knows-when. fuck. i feel like a sloth.. or worse.. a slug. a big, fat, juicy slug. -_- raaarrr... can i just say, i daydream like a motherfucker to the nth degree. shit. hay nako.. nothing is going to happen to my life. i could sense it. aaaaaaahhh!

i'm stressed out
i'm burned out

i need a lot of rest. LOADS OF IT.