wala akong maisip

i do the craziest things when i'm

a. drunk
b. sad

*ang dami kong gagawin. aaah! oh well..

nagpost ako kasi nagfail kami ni majet sa orient2

may naalala lang ako.. may nakausap akong tao.. parang ganito yung conversation namin:

tao: alam ko naman na hindi ako papasa sayo e..
ako: huh? ano ako? quiz?! exam?! test?! subject?!

eh? ang labo. leche. sorry na.

yes yes yes.. bumagsak kami ni majet sa orient2 dahil lamang na-late kami ng 15 minutes. e kasi naman.. naligaw kami ng room. ang tanga ko talga.

alam niyo ba kung saan yung room?.. dun din sa room namin last week! @_@ kamusta naman!?

wala na.. hindi na ako magddL poreber!!! haha! sorry na..

praningness comes with pessimism. :

oh well.. :D

goodbye summer fling

I know its useless if I still write something about you… about what happened.. about us.. if ever there was “us”.

You thought that nothing happened.… that there was not even a single spark. I guess you always assumed that you’re worthless in my eyes and that I never really give a fuck about you… or so you said. Fuck you.. you never really listened to me.

But you know what, I did. I did give a shit about you.
You are (.. or were) not worthless. You were something to me.
You were my summer fling.

I never believed when you said that you think that I am taking this too lightly… that you know that I’m not affected at all. I know and I feel that you know in the soles of your heart that I was affected.. I know you know that I reciprocated your feelings... I just don’t fucking understand why you had to invent those asshole statements and excuses about me not connecting with you. shit you. It just made things worse you know. You’re just too scared… that’s all. I have nothing against your cowardice. But the fact that you never really told the truth makes me want to kill you. (sorry :P)

When I was with you, I pretended that I was senseless. And fuck you because you took advantage of that. Just because I said it everything was okay doesn’t mean you could just drop me like that.

Okay. Enough. I’m forgetting this.

I guess.. we were just a phase. Let’s just pass the time.

If ever you will come across this entry.. Let me take this chance to apologize. I also had my shortcomings. I always had that happy façade when in fact, not everything is alright. I’m sorry. Also, pardon me for the curses… though I never really said it to you directly. I can’t help it. I have a fucking filthy mouth.. :P

The rain is starting to fall real hard. Let it drain way down.. together with what we felt.. what we had..

iresponsableng bata

sa kasalukuyan..

nasa goks ako..
kalikod ko si kris (hi kris!)
nasa far right ko si maje (hi majet!)t..
may ka-txt..
nagiinternet..
nakaupo..
humihinga..
tumitingin..
nagttype..

tanginang yan.. di man lang ako nagaaral

ang kapal talaga ng muka ko.. di pa ako nagaaral para sa filipi midterms. shet. patapon na tong buhay ko -_-

random thoughts and late rants

MONDAY
*salamat sa Diyos at natapos din ang limang lunes na ikinakakaba ko.. amp. ang tapang ko.. limang karayom din yun noh! leche. ayoko na makagat ng aso! ever! pero if ever man na kagatin nila ako.. immune na ako e :P hehehe. yey :)

*kanina, nung nasa may EDSA kami.. yung paliko sa may santolan, meron akong nakitang mala-matrona na rumarampa sa may gilid ng kotse namin. hindi ko maiwasan na hindi tumitig sakanya.. bakit kamo?! kasi nagbbenta siya ng sampaguita. 0_0 nakakagulat lang talaga.. ngayon lang kasi ako nakakita ng sampaguita vendor na naka button down shirt.. naka-make up.. naka pencil cut pants.. naka sandals.. naka headband.. at may dala pang wallet.. oha! feeling ko nga "fairy godmother" siya e.. labo! pero yun nga.. nagbalak ako bumili. kasi naawa ako. eh?.. naku.. kung sampaguita lang pala ang katapat ng pagiging mayaman.. shet! magtatanim nako sa bakuran namin!

TUESDAY
* eh basta! yun na yun :P

WEDNESDAY
* buong araw sa band room :) astig :)

THURSDAY
* akalain mo nga namang hindi ako nagaral sa intreco. ang kapal talaga ng muka ko..

FRIDAY
*sana hindi nalang ako nagaral sa library nung break.. .wala din naman ako nasagot sa test sa intreco.

* nagdinner kami ng pamilya ko kasama si kuya louie. at kanina ko lang narealize na 5th wheel pala ako. HAHAHA! oh well :)

inaantok nako...

alam ko na kung kanino ako nagmana..

dad: uy.. di natin napaluto yung footlong (hotdog)

*pause*

dad: SHORTlong! haha.

HAHAHAHA! sorry na! benta sakin! humirit pa e! mali naman! dba dapat yung "long" yung papalitan?!

hindi malungkot.. hindi masaya.. steady lang.

One glass of vodka. That’s all I ask for this day.. this hour.. this minute.. this second. Call me a disoriented teenager, but intoxicating myself seem to be enough just to numb my whole being from all this distress… from all this thinking. (I’m tired of thinking… too bad.. I can’t cannot think)

yaaak.. anu ba yung sinabi ko. BWAHAHAHAAH!

One of my friends (hi huey!) said, “thing’s would’ve been different if I hadn’t met this person.” Yes, I have felt that several times. And surprisingly, I don’t bear any regrets. i get depressed and cynical though.. but still, no regrets. :)

I love life so much that I can’t let anyone or anything ruin in. I can’t just stop now.. now that I’m on the threshold of something greater and more powerful :)