so damn obvious! shit.

curses! i confess, i still have that kilig high school thing going on everytime the situation calls for it. you know, the usual shrieks and wattafaces shit. fucker. aaaah! i am so damn obvious! i feel so transparent! i am so blatant! shit. i can't understand and i can't bear the fact that up to now, i still can't pull myself together and be a "woman" not only during those kilig sessions.. but in any day-to-day situation i'm in. come what may, the idea of "womanhood" and maturity can't seem to sink in into my system. though sometimes, i can present myself with "grace", but still it can't measure up with the ease and happiness that i have when i'm silly and childish. i'm in a great deal of satisfaction with how/why/what/who/where/when i am now.. its sad cause some or even most people can't seem to accept my peculiarity. probably, that's why no one can put up with me! oh, the hell with them.. fuck you! fuck this society! i can't please everyone.. i know that. pfftt..

anyway, bottom line is... even if i can't alter my childish tendencies.. i still have to at least control my exaggerated feelings and my obvious reactions.. i believe that people like me.. whom are ignorant to the highest degree about shitty things like flirting101 and debonairness.. aren't ready for that battle of who's got the most captivating hoaxes and inevitable charms that, more often than not, brings together a man and a woman..

or perhaps, i'm already geared up.. its just that i'm dealing with false princes. dunchutink?!

choing!
tangina mo.. asan ka na ba?.. :(


*PRaning.

fucking rants and more senseless thingamabobs..

what a fucking republic this is.. (joke lang.. baka arestuhin niyo ko.. amp!) shady officials here.. a bunch of protesters there.. and a lot of indolent and neglectful countrymen everywhere. no wonder we're not even in the brink of humanizing. shiyet.

tangina. mahirap tuloy kumuha ng trabaho. pano na tayo, mga kapwa magaaral? sabihin niyo sakin! pano na?! kailangan na nating magalsa.. JOKE! hahaha. di bagay.

!@#$%

people have this notion that i am the connoiseur in the course of "moving on".. oh shit. assholes. well, i hate to break this to them, but hell NO! i am not capable of forgetting moments and people... even those bitchy feelings that creep inside from time to time.. malay ko.. probably, i just get used to each feeling.. tapos bahala na si batman.. kaya wag ako ang tanungin niyo.. si batman :P NYEEEH!

!@#$%

i am quite anxious on the numerous possible ways on how i'm going to die. oh.. the splendor of departing this chaotic world.. however... i'm scared. bleh.

!@#$%

and that's how the cookie crumbles.. labo!

conceited files: part 1

LOOK! NO BANGS! *bleh*

filipi yesterday.. filipi tomorrow..

filipi doesn't really intrigue me like some of my other classes. (sorry for the rudeness) but something (.. or someone. nyeh!) makes me refuse to give in to cutting classes. damn. or maybe, i still have that o'l goody two shoes person in me... HA!

haaay.. i don't want to go to school. i don't want to read those fucking long reading assignments. i don't want to do those damn papers. i don't want to answer those shitty quizzes ..aaaagggh! what an indolent person i am?! but despite this hatred i have, i still chose to push through with this "obligation" of mine. something helps me keep going... and it is no other than.. my beloved tropa. (uuy.. kadire ha! ang drama!) if it weren't for my gehlz, i'd probably be rebelling now... honestly, being with my gehlz is what i go to school for. *lahb lahb* .. also.. i love my parents. (cheneeen!) i'd want/love to give them back the hard work they've done.. rearing me and putting me in a goddamn good school.

ayun naman pala e! then why rant?! bobo. punyeta.

i am in the verge of sleeping.. again. and i haven't read all the filipi hand outs. fucker. i also haven't finished fixing my slashed up damn life, specifically, in the love department. (ok.. where did that come from? XD)

*quotable quote
:brought to you by my beloved sister

pa-fishing fishing pa siya diyan! ano ako? bangus!?

*tugush tugsh*

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

sleeping disorder

i'm weirded out on how i fall asleep 0_0

when i'm in the middle of cramming my homeworks, downloading songs, chatting etc etc.. i tend to fall asleep.. wateesdamatterwidmeeh?

just like yesterday, i slept in the middle of my genpsyc-visual-aids-making... and to think i drank coffee before that. watsapweedaat?!

and you know what...

zzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZz...

i can't believe i'm updating again.

fuck.

i'm updating my blogger account. oh well.. kinakaliwa ko yung lj ko :( hu hu hu. bad blogging person... labo! hhmmpp! first blog never dies!... ok.. weird!

alas! there are no classes today, hendopkors!, tomorrow! yahooo! happy happy joy joy!

i am fucking lazy through out this week that i didn't do any-fucking-thing right. shitty. palapakish is the word for me. i can't understand why... everyday, i always wake up angry, and in the evening.. i also fall asleep angry. raarrr.. i'm angry because i'm always angry. (ehh?) and this angry-ness of mine can't seem to go with the forces of everybodyelse... in the normal world. and the fucking shitty about that is i don't know what i'm angry about. i'm just mad. i'm just devasted... and this, my foes, scares me.

bleh. shit. bitch. fuck. (hehe. pls. don't mind my profanity)

this is what you get for being paranoid. shit. pffttt... *sigh*

i miss the times when i can calm myself down. with just a flick of one of those happy memories, i'd see myself with a grin plastered in my face.. yes, like one of those mental patients. i miss those times when i wasn't so bothered about what's happening... in the real big world and as well as in my little corner. understanding why i can't bring those times back really leaves me in a state of ramshackle... Poignant Ramshackle ( notice the first letters of the two words.) shit. it really fits me. fucker.

*just a random thought..
friends, also, do break hearts. and it sucks.

my first fucking post

i want my first post to be so damn memorable that i will fucking cry until my heart burst and this so called sou..l that swims amidst my body... will flee me. my blood should rush like rapids.. each drop bumping my veins; causing an internal hostility. My brain should engrave every letter of every word until it sends an electrifying shiver, making me numb.. situating me in a comma. i want to look back to this post with anguish that i'd regret what i'd done and be skeptic of what i will be.

fucking lies. fucking rants. damn angst. is that why i am here for?
then fuck this sham life.
i am nothing in the future.
i know.

love can only be explained by pure reason.
and that, my foes, leaves us poignant.
its so distressing
that it slowly turns you black and blue
you just wish that you had a gun in front of you and a bottle of vodka on one hand
one gulp.. one pull..
then that's it.

love is pyar.. what a fucking lie that is.
nothing will scare me... well... other than high-heeled shoes.

see.. im not making any sense. blame my fingers, i'd nothing to do with this.


praning.